Early in my career, I had the viewpoint about work that one just needed to do the job, get it done and quit whining if you didn’t like it. I didn’t want to hear about co-workers problems, why they couldn’t get something done or what the particular challenges were. I was not mean or rude in this mindset, I simply made no effort to see behind the scenes. This resulted in me being able to be effective at my individual work, but not very effective as a team player or leader.

As I have grown I have come to see the pure silliness of this attitude. The plain truth is that people are still people when they go to work. They still have personalities, challenges, goals and everything else which makes us each the individuals we are. Ignoring that because you are ‘at work’ simply ignores the realities of life. The most effective managers I have seen are people who engage with others and try to actually understand what makes them tick.

Whether I am leading a team or managing a project, I have found that the most effective tool I have in my arsenal is to simply engage and listen. There are indeed times when action is needed (perhaps someone is going through a family crisis they did not want to advertise, or their time is being pulled in 10 different directions at once) but very often people just like to know someone gives a darn and would take action if needed.

I have often found myself with extremely dedicated teams who are willing to go the extra mile for me, and I contribute much of this to my willingness to simply be an open human being. I have coached managers who say they simply can’t get their team members to do their jobs but after a couple of simple conversations they will see a dramatic difference.

In general, people want to do good work and produce something we are proud of. If that is not happening, don’t just assume someone is incapable or unwilling. Instead, ask how their day is and if there are any obstacles in their way. And then, simply listen.